Simon Cook

One thing that is a given these days with blogs (especially ones with a known format, like WordPress) is that you will get spam, a lot of spam. Thankfully plugins like the brilliant Akismet manages to block 99% or more of the spam, though it still stays in the comment moderation queue for reading and checking for false positives when it has filtered out some ham. Well, after many months of collecting spam in the moderation queue, I have decided to read some of them and share the “top of the spam”, the funniest comments, either because they just make no sense, or have nothing to do with the post they’re associated to.

The first of these comes from “NevyZelry” who decided to advertise its services to me in my post “Finished Computer Photos“. NevyZelry said:

hello, cute web site
the simple way to create blog posts who smash in your visitors:
link removed

Now that sounds like a good offer, a simple way to butcher my readers to death, oh yes please!

The next came from someone who called themself “WP Themes“, and this was posted to my post, “My Blog“. They wrote:

Amiable brief and this enter helped me alot in my college assignement. Gratefulness you for your information.

Awesome! A coming soon message has helped people in college assignments. Personally, I don’t see how the words “Returning soon…” could do such a thing, but hey, all for the greater good, right?

“Robes” also had something to say about this post.

awesome article.

Why thank you, two word comments about a two word post is just what I needed, thanks.

This comment came from someone named “wrmachine“, posted to the Big Tag Sphere that I added because Harry wanted to see how it works:

I read about it some days ago in another blog and the main things that you mention here are very similar

Poor marks for correct spelling and grammar, however as it’s just a standard WordPress Plugin, and all I wrote basically was “Here it is”, yes I can imagine it’s pretty standard. Thanks for writing in.

This comment was quite confusing, it seemed to have nothing to do with the blog post (even when compared to the others), but “MackLee31” still wanted to share his comments, so here you go, posting in “A tale of a laptop (and Windows 7) Part 1“:

This is cool that we can take the loans and this opens completely new chances.

Yes, I agree completely, a new OS does open up new chances for a device. However no loans are needed for Windows 7, so do not fret MackLee31, you can buy Windows 7 quite reasonably without taking out yet another loan. The laptop on the other hand, well… it all depends on which laptop you want.

A different user however suggested that I buy Viagra in their name. But that’s not very interesting, their comment on the other hand… in the post “Modifying the Nexus One: Custom Keyboards“, they wrote….

I read blogs on a similar topic, but i never visited your blog. I added it to favorites and i’ll be your constant reader.

I would just like to say thank you for becoming yet another bot reader, plenty of bots trawl this site looking to leave spam comments, but as you’re such a constant reader that had bookmarked me, you’ve ranked yourself high in terms of spam, you should feel proud.

The last piece of spam, from user “soggalimask“, decided to comment probably just based on the post title, “Some sort of uber epic catchup thing“:

I do think this is a most incredible website for proclaiming great wonders of Our God!

Thank you. No, really. Thank you. I didn’t realise you thought of me as your God, or maybe you’re just talking about my robots. I’m glad you liked the post and I’m sure I will make more posts about the God that I am. Or something like that?

That’s the end of the comments, 7 spam comments dissected, because I thought they were comical when against the posts they were in. Hopefully some more bots will post comments here and then soon enough, there will be more comment dissections in the near future. But until then, I hope you enjoyed this disassembly of bot commenting.

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